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The
FairfieldMORRON ■■.
Volume, Bass, Treble July 4, 1000 B.C. Don't Believe Everything You Read
Dozer Destroys Donnarumma
W. Danforth Quayle
/ had nothing else to do
Donnarumma Hall,
which housed a significant
number of faculty offices, was
torn down Friday to make room
for a hill, say administration
officials.
"The building created
too much confusion," states Bill
Ding of the University Planning
Committee. "Some people called
it Donnarumma, some called it
F.O.B...."1 It was just causing too
much commotion, and the
university gave us strict orders to
destroy anything that causes
commotion."
Fr. Kelley was out
shopping for sod and flower seeds
and could not be reached for Bulldozer rummages through the rubble. photo: C. Donnarumma
comment. conduct their own research," says
Ding.
Faculty "The students will
members understand," he adds,
whose Those students who have
offices were signed contracts to live in the
located in townhouses next year should
Donnarumma check with the Department of
Hall/F.O.B. Residence Life to find out if they
will be are affected by this faculty shift,
moved to the Those who are affected will be
townhouses. moved up to Bellarmine.
Students currently living
"This will in the townhouses will merely be
give them asked to make room for one
substantially additional housemate,
more room This, of course, means
to hold that the former graduation policy
student will be reinstated. Seniors must
conferences, leave at 5 p.m. on Graduation Day
grade so that the faculty members can
papers, and party.
Aliens Check into CFS
Claus Von Beulow
Watcha Lukin Gat
A UFO in the shape of a
McDonald's burger packaging
landed on the lawn next to the
Center for Financial Studies (CFS)
Monday evening.
dimmed, and this big crate looking
thing dropped down out of the
sky. I just watched in amazement,
and I thought, This is it, I'm going
to die serving rice pilaf to Fr.
Kelley!"
As they exited the ship,
the inhabitants of the UFO
Witnesses say a
hatch opened to
reveal several
short, bearded
men, who bore
remarkable
resemblances to
various Fairfield
faculty members.
"It was
weird," says
Bonnie Waite,
who was
working at CFS
when the
spacecraft
landed. "One
minute I was
serving rice pilaf
to Fr. Kelley, and
the next minute
the lights
The aliens touched down in the moist earth beside CFS,
then pigged OUt. photo: My Favorite Martian
immediately began to wave arms
as if to say "We come in peace" or
"You're all stupid if you think
we're not going to vaporize you."
They slowly fded into CFS, sat
down at an unoccupied table in
the dining room, and pointed to
random items on the menu.
"They
were all very
polite and
courteous," says
Waite. "And they
left huge tips!"
Security
showed up soon
after, and brought
the visitors to their
office for
questioning.
Apparently,
Security was
satisfied that the
aliens were
friendly, because
the creatures were
seen riding with
the officers on the
bike patrol later
that night.
Spring Breakout! « Fairfield students vacationing in Mexico wake from their su..-baked
slumber to find their bodies covered with zits. Some students were so shocked that they
fainted; tli-ir subsequent sun poisoning compounded their health problems, photo: Mario Perillo
Pat Rombalski, Assistant Director of Residence Life,
runs for his life after breaking the news to next year's
townhouse residents that they will instead be living in
Bellarmine Hall. photo: R. Rossi
Security Nabs
Carjackers
Mr. Goodwrench
Monkeying Around
Sergeant Pepper, of the Fairfield University Security Depart-ment,
apprehended two would-be carjackers as they tried to steal a
station wagon from the back of McAuliffe Hall last Thursday.
The thieves, Ernie Pylon and Burt Billingsley, said that they
were "just checking under the hood." They claimed that they had never
seen a station wagon before and were curious to see "how one of those
babies runs."
Security was prepared to release the. two suspects, initially
believing their story. But after they thought about it ' • a few more
minutes, they realized that the crooks were lying and promptly turned
them overto the town police, by whomthey are now employed as meter
maids.
Object Description
| Title | Mirror - Vol. 17, No. 18 - April 01, 1993 |
| Date | April 01 1993 |
| Description | [PLEASE NOTE: the Morron is the April Fool's issue of the Mirror. Issue number 19 of the Mirror begins on page 5.] The Mirror (sometimes called the Fairfield Mirror) is the official student newspaper of Fairfield University, and is published weekly during the academic year (September - May). It runs from 1977 - the present; current issues are available online. |
| Notes | A timeline for Fairfield University student newspapers is as follows: The Tentative, Nov. 7, 1947 - Dec. 19, 1947; The Fulcrum, Jan. 9, 1948 - May 20, 1949; The Stag, Sept. 23, 1949 - May 6, 1970; The University Voice, Oct. 1, 1970 - May 11, 1977; The Fairfield Free Press & Review, Sept. 10, 1970 - Apr. 24, 1975; The Fairfield Mirror, Sept. 22, 1977 - present. |
| Type of Document | Newspaper |
| Original Format | Newsprint; color; ill.; 11.5 x 17 in. |
| Digital Specifications | These images exist as archived TIFFs, JPEGs and one or more PDF versions for general use. Digitized by Creekside Digital through the LYRASIS group. |
| Publisher | Fairfield University |
| Place of Publication | Fairfield, Conn. |
| Source | Fairfield University Archives and Special Collections |
| Copyright Information | Fairfield University reserves all rights to this resource which is provided here for educational and/or non-commercial purposes only. |
| Identifier | MIR19930401 |
Description
| Title | Page 1 |
| SearchData | The FairfieldMORRON ■■. Volume, Bass, Treble July 4, 1000 B.C. Don't Believe Everything You Read Dozer Destroys Donnarumma W. Danforth Quayle / had nothing else to do Donnarumma Hall, which housed a significant number of faculty offices, was torn down Friday to make room for a hill, say administration officials. "The building created too much confusion," states Bill Ding of the University Planning Committee. "Some people called it Donnarumma, some called it F.O.B...."1 It was just causing too much commotion, and the university gave us strict orders to destroy anything that causes commotion." Fr. Kelley was out shopping for sod and flower seeds and could not be reached for Bulldozer rummages through the rubble. photo: C. Donnarumma comment. conduct their own research," says Ding. Faculty "The students will members understand," he adds, whose Those students who have offices were signed contracts to live in the located in townhouses next year should Donnarumma check with the Department of Hall/F.O.B. Residence Life to find out if they will be are affected by this faculty shift, moved to the Those who are affected will be townhouses. moved up to Bellarmine. Students currently living "This will in the townhouses will merely be give them asked to make room for one substantially additional housemate, more room This, of course, means to hold that the former graduation policy student will be reinstated. Seniors must conferences, leave at 5 p.m. on Graduation Day grade so that the faculty members can papers, and party. Aliens Check into CFS Claus Von Beulow Watcha Lukin Gat A UFO in the shape of a McDonald's burger packaging landed on the lawn next to the Center for Financial Studies (CFS) Monday evening. dimmed, and this big crate looking thing dropped down out of the sky. I just watched in amazement, and I thought, This is it, I'm going to die serving rice pilaf to Fr. Kelley!" As they exited the ship, the inhabitants of the UFO Witnesses say a hatch opened to reveal several short, bearded men, who bore remarkable resemblances to various Fairfield faculty members. "It was weird," says Bonnie Waite, who was working at CFS when the spacecraft landed. "One minute I was serving rice pilaf to Fr. Kelley, and the next minute the lights The aliens touched down in the moist earth beside CFS, then pigged OUt. photo: My Favorite Martian immediately began to wave arms as if to say "We come in peace" or "You're all stupid if you think we're not going to vaporize you." They slowly fded into CFS, sat down at an unoccupied table in the dining room, and pointed to random items on the menu. "They were all very polite and courteous," says Waite. "And they left huge tips!" Security showed up soon after, and brought the visitors to their office for questioning. Apparently, Security was satisfied that the aliens were friendly, because the creatures were seen riding with the officers on the bike patrol later that night. Spring Breakout! « Fairfield students vacationing in Mexico wake from their su..-baked slumber to find their bodies covered with zits. Some students were so shocked that they fainted; tli-ir subsequent sun poisoning compounded their health problems, photo: Mario Perillo Pat Rombalski, Assistant Director of Residence Life, runs for his life after breaking the news to next year's townhouse residents that they will instead be living in Bellarmine Hall. photo: R. Rossi Security Nabs Carjackers Mr. Goodwrench Monkeying Around Sergeant Pepper, of the Fairfield University Security Depart-ment, apprehended two would-be carjackers as they tried to steal a station wagon from the back of McAuliffe Hall last Thursday. The thieves, Ernie Pylon and Burt Billingsley, said that they were "just checking under the hood." They claimed that they had never seen a station wagon before and were curious to see "how one of those babies runs." Security was prepared to release the. two suspects, initially believing their story. But after they thought about it ' • a few more minutes, they realized that the crooks were lying and promptly turned them overto the town police, by whomthey are now employed as meter maids. |